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| There was a cub, a cardinal, a yankee and a red sox player on top of a cliff. The cub player said "this is for my team" and jumped off of the cliff. The cardinal player wanted to be a better person so he said "this is for my team" and ran then flipped off of the cliff. The yankee and the red sox player looked at each other both thinking "i don't really wanna die". But after a long period of waiting, the red sox player goes, "you know what, this is for my team" and pushed the yankee player of the cliff! | |
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10 Reasons to Date a Hockey Player
1. They always wear protection
2. They have great hands
3. They are used to scoring
4. They have great stamina
5. They find the opening and get it in
6. They never miss the target
7. They know how to use their wood
8. They have long sticks
9.They know when to play rough
10. Because baseball players only know how to hit balls. | |
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| Hello, you have reached %n's away message, your message will be answered to in the order in which it was received, your message is number 1,645,845 , please hold, your message is important to me. | |
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| You know what pisses me off? People who point at the wrist when asking the time, i know where my watch is buddy where they f**k is yours? I mean do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?? | |
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| The sky was dark, The moon was high, We were alone, just her and I, Her hair was brown, her eyes were too I knew just what she wanted to do, So with my courage I did my best, I placed my hand upon her breast, I trembled and shook and felt her heart, Slowly she spread her legs apart, I knew she was ready, But I didnt know how, It was my first try, At milking a cow. | |
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| When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them. | |
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| I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well they stopped doin that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals. BRB | |
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YOUR COMPUTER IS NOW INFECTED WITH A BAD VIRUS. But...
If you want to fix your computer, do what these directions tell you:
Type the following into your favorite write program (Microsoft Word, Notepad etc.):
Type an M
Type an I before the M
Make a space after the M
Type a P
Type a D after the P
Type an S right before the P
Type a U Before the P But after the S
Make a Space after the D
Type an R
Type An O BEFORE and AFTER the R
Go back to the beginning
Type an A before the S and then make a space
Go to the end
Type an M Before the first O
Go to the middle
Type a T between the S and the U
Type an I in between the P and the D
Go to the very end.
Type an N
Now read the code out loud.
Your virus is gone! | |
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| Never argue w/ an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue w/ me, I'll drag you down to my level & beat you with a bat. | |
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| Sex is a Sensation caused by a Temptation.when a guy sticks his Location in a girls Destination,to Increase population for the next Generation..u get my Explanation or need a Demonstration?!?! | |
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| The word of the day is "legs" I'll go spread the news | |
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| I was planning to take over the world, but I got distracted by something shiny... | |
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